Drake, if you’re reading this, get a job! Stay away from her! Just like every ex you have saved in your phone with the purple devil emoji next to their name, Drake got bored during quarantine and decided to tease his rumored ex, Rihanna. But instead of sending an embarrassing reply to her Instagram story, he did it in DJ Spade’s IG Live chat and got publicly shut down. Rihanna has been swatting away fans for months. Drake is nothing. But because she’s a benevolent queen, Rihanna gave him three strikes. It started when the Toronto native spotted @badgalriri in the livestream and asked her to help out Spade’s poor internet connection. “Robyn you can’t buy him A one hot spot?” he wrote, as if his first-name privileges weren’t revoked as soon as the check for “Too Good” hit. When she didn’t respond, he went for caps: “DUB PLATE CAME PRETTY LIKE A FENTY FOUNDATION.” Boy, if you don’t go write some lyrics. Finally, he came for R9, the quickest way to get Rihanna to ether you nowadays. “Rihanna drop R12 right now,” were his last words. “Give drake some water,” Rihanna said in the chat, not even addressing him directly. And just like those other purple devil emoji guys, when he got pressed, Drake blamed it on her “bad attitude.” Give it a few months. We’ll all be dancing to a Drake single called “Bad Attitude” post-coronavirus.
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