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Now’s not the best time to end up in the hospital for any reason. That said, we’re grateful that Brian May hasn’t tested positive for the coronavirus right now. But we are sorry that the Queen guitarist, who was staying at home and minding his business, has “managed to rip my Gluteus Maximus to shreds in a moment of over-enthusiastic gardening.” He went on to explain, “Turns out I did a thorough job — this is a couple of days ago — and I won’t be able to walk for a while … or sleep, without a lot of assistance, because the pain is relentless.” Sounds like that fat bottom won’t be making the rockin’ world go ‘round any time soon. So to all of you starting quarantine gardens out there, be careful! And to Mr. May, get well soon. We hope your sports bra business is doing OK during these tough times.

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Close the Theaters. Close the Opera. Close the Concert Halls. Now.