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Having a quiet night in listening to Glass Houses? Hoping to one day prove your undivided loyalty to Sir William Joel, the titular Piano Man? Well, he just jacked up his home security system thanks to a recent burglary hit (a few motorcycles were vandalized, nothing serious), and he’s really hoping to test it out. Or to put it in lyrical terms, you may actually be the lunatic he’s looking for. “Last time I was here they hit my house,” Joel told his Madison Square Garden crowd earlier this week about the robbers, per Rolling Stone. “I guess everyone knows I’m not home. I got dogs, lights, guns, everything at the house now. I’m hoping they try it again. Come on, come one! Bring it on! Anyway, everyone is fine.” Lucky for Joel, his sprawling compound is located in Long Island, and most of us would rather have an heart attack ack ack ack than take the LIE.

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